CHAPTER TWO:
Growing up, I always did what was expected of me. I was afraid of disappointing others by veering left or right, afraid of disappointing myself if I set my goals too high. For years, insecurity held me back—until I finally realized what a huge waste of time it is. Fear can actually be productive if you embrace it as a sign that you’re stretching and growing into the woman you’re meant to become. I know it’s hard to step out of your comfort zone, but it’s the only way you can be sure you’re living up to your full potential and getting the most out of your life.

In this chapter, Sanaa Lathan offers her intimate story of how she let go of her fear, began to take risks and how she goes about making life an exciting journey.

CHAPTER THREE:
I love that, for the most part, women of color are not afraid to be ourselves, whether we’re a size 8 or a size 16. (The positive feedback we get from our men doesn’t hurt!) But the reality is that approximately 78% percent of black women are overweight and 51% are obese, and the numbers for Latina women are almost as bad. Those percentages are much higher than for other ethnic groups in the country—and we are paying a terrible price.

Listen, if we don’t treat ourselves well, who else will? Too often we jeopardize our physical health by eating poorly, not exercising and often ignoring symptoms of the illnesses that we disproportionately contract (diabetes, fibroids, high blood pressure, etc.). Getting healthy’s not as hard as you might think: Hit the gym a few times a weeks, cut back on (not necessarily eliminate) burgers and brownies, add some veggies and fruit to your diet, and try not to drink more cocktails than your body can safely handle. Lastly, go to the doctor—for checkups and when you’re not feeling well. Remember that the most important element of living healthy isn’t dieting: It’s keeping your body strong, your mind focused and thinking positively about your life.

In this chapter, Venus Williams fills us in on her fitness regime and the secrets to her success.

CHAPTER FOUR:
I hear so many women of color complain about the tremendous amount of “drama” surrounding our friendships. We often mistrust each other, take each other’s men, and we don’t treat each other with respect. Well, I still believe strongly in sisterhood—and I have a fabulous group of close girlfriends who reinforce that belief on a daily basis. We support each other’s projects, applaud our successes and help one another deal with personal and professional challenges. And that is what I want for you: a tight-knit crew you can count on, and a loving attitude toward all your sisters. I want us to treat each other with kindness and respect, and I think we can. We just need to work together to remember that we women have a unique bond that transcends everything!

In this chapter, Kelly Rowland dishes on Destiny’s Child, friendships gone wrong, and how to build lasting relationships.

CHAPTER FIVE:
As my mother was, women of color have traditionally been the rock of our households. Unfortunately, too many of us grow up without fathers, watching our moms work overtime to put food on the table and buy us schoolbooks. Too often, we overcompensate by having babies at an early age or by accepting bad treatment from men—all to fill a void left by our family situations. And even if you grew up with two parents in the same household, siblings and a large extended family, you know that behind closed doors every home has its own unique issues as well as its joys.

One of the most difficult things we all have to learn is how to cope with family and the accompanying responsibility in a more healthy, fulfilling way. The trick? Recognizing that no one’s family is ideal and that the things we don’t love about our relatives can make us take a more honest look at who we are, who we want to be—and who we want to share our lives with.

In this chapter, Mo’Nique shares how she really stays connected to her man, and how they work together as a family.

CHAPTER SIX:
If I had followed the professional advice I received when I graduated from college “to stay the course, even if you hate your job” I would still be slogging away in a position I’d hate, probably doing a mediocre job because I would be desperate to “punch out” every evening. I say be happy and success will come. The first step to making any move, either at your company or to transition to another field, is to be amazing at your current job. Excel at what you do: Then ask for more responsibility. And do it all with a positive attitude. Of course, we all need to make a living. Just remember that there’s a big difference between a job and a career. You’re only going to be really good at something you actually like doing. Think about what makes you happy and try to figure out how to make a living doing it every single day—as your main job or as a fulfilling side gig that may start a retirement fund or pay for a few vacations.

In this chapter, Gayle King gives us her valuable advice on building a career you really love.

CHAPTER SEVEN:
It’s incredibly important for women to be independent and to have our own assets. Call your savings your “screw you” money. If you ever find yourself in a really bad situation, personally or professionally, you have the ability to say: “You know what? Screw you,” and walk out the door. You may never have to touch that money, but just knowing it’s there, accruing interest, will make you feel empowered. I know it’s tempting to buy the latest and most expensive gear—to display “how you’re living.” But that’s not real wealth. Wealth means owning your own home and having no debt. It’s being able to send your kids to the best schools, ensure that your parents are living comfortably and that your community reflects what you’ve given back. Focus on being wealthy, not on looking rich.

In this chapter, Mellody Hobson shares her tips to get out of debt, plan for your goals and to have a fabulous financial future.

CHAPTER EIGHT:
There aren’t enough good men to go around….That is the most damaging myth ever. Many of us have trouble finding love because we want to be rescued by a brother who’s “paid”—and the men we’re interested in feel they have too many options to settle down, or don’t want the burden of our bills. Since we’re often frustrated with the situations we find ourselves in, we’re often too hard on the men in our lives. At the end of the day, men and women often have unfair expectations of each other—and it’s damaging our relationships and our families.

The easiest way to break this cycle is to have high expectations of men as human beings—not their ability to hook you up with a diamond bracelet, but of how much they will cherish and respect you. Of course, men won’t do that unless they know how much you value yourself. Be the sort of woman who does not need or want a man to take care of her, who has a full, fascinating life, who knows how to have fun, and those good men who seem so hard to find will suddenly start popping up all over the place.

Hill Harper wants you to find a man as good as, well, him! In this chapter, he reveals what men really feel about love, lust and commitment.

CHAPTER NINE:
Urban women have more of a natural sense of style than women of any other culture I know of. And young urban women have been the progenitors of so many modern style trends over the past decade. We've always known how to hook ourselves up, but we sometimes lack the confidence that gives us the self-acceptance that makes us truly sexy. And while beauty is temporary, sexy is forever!

In this chapter, Kelis talks about her unique and honest style.

CHAPTER TEN:
Personal space is extremely important. I believe your living environment affects your mental state, and the wrong kind of space can have a negative impact on your entire life. Coming home to a place you love can help you clear your head, define your world, show your appreciation for yourself and enhance your private time. I believe it’s especially important for all women of color to have a home that is an oasis so we can stay independent, calm and happy—also, so we ensure that our highest expectations are met before we even consider moving in with a partner.

In this chapter, Courtney Sloane shares her secrets for creating a beautiful home—at any budget.

CHAPTER ELEVEN:
Creativity can come in so many different forms (cooking, sewing, drawing, writing, etc.). Once you tap into your creative side, you’ll realize that there are entire elements of your personality that you’ve never truly explored. I’ve been very fortunate that my creative outlet, writing, ultimately became my career. But most women have to make time to be creative—and it’s usually the first thing we let go of when our schedules get busy. I believe that giving yourself a creative outlet to free your imagination is extremely valuable to every woman. It’s a great way to express your emotions and desires—and be yourself!

In this chapter, Sarah Jones talks about how every woman can find power and peace in doing or making something beautiful.

CHAPTER TWELVE:
After my mom passed away, I searched for meaning in my life. As I searched, I gradually felt that I belonged to something larger and more important than myself. I started to have faith in a greater power—even if I couldn’t define who or what that power was. This gave me a humility and sense of universal responsibility that I hadn’t felt before. Few of us explore faith and spirituality as ways to feel connected not just to your definition of God, but to the world around you. Spirituality is more than a one on one dialogue with your God; it can be the purest form of self-understanding, empowerment and freedom.

In this chapter, India.Arie gets real about how hard it is to stay spiritually grounded while working in the music industry.